PARENTING INTRODUCTION
Parenting is one of the most
complex activities that you will ever
pursue. And, there is not one ideal type of
parent. Good parents are good parents,
whether they are gay, straight, single or
married. Regardless of a parent’s social
status or label, a child will thrive with a
combination of love, kindness, patience,
understanding, and support.
The following chapter
discusses a variety of different types of
parents and the issues facing them.
ATTACHMENT PARENTING
Attachment parenting is a
child-rearing philosophy rooted in the
belief that infants who are actively
nurtured by loving parents create stronger
emotional bonds, and become more trusting
that their emotional and physical needs are
met.
Dr. William Sears coined
the term “attachment parenting” in the
1970s. He observed mothers in other cultures
nurturing their babies similar to how they
would of thousands of years ago. From that,
he theorized that there were eight ideals of
parenting that were especially effective in
promoting a healthy, loving relationship
between parent and child. The eight ideals
are:
-
Being prepared for
childbirth
-
Being emotionally
responsive to your baby’s needs
-
Breastfeeding Wearing
your baby (in a sling or carrier)
-
Co-sleeping (sleeping
with your baby)
-
Avoiding separation from
your baby
-
Positive discipline
(avoiding spanking, yelling, etc.)
-
Maintaining balance in
family life
There are critics of
attachment parenting that feel that a parent
who practices all eight ideals can prevent
their child from maturing. As well, most
pediatricians recommend that infants don’t
sleep in their parents’ bed because of the
risk of SIDS.
GAY PARENTING
In recent years, there has
been much debate over the topic of gay
parenting. Researchers have completed many
studies that have proven that children of
gay and lesbian parents grow up as
successfully as those of heterosexual
parents. However, many religious
conservatives strongly feel that parenting
should be limited to heterosexuals.
Researchers have also
determined:
-
Gay parents are no more
likely to be unfit parents than
heterosexual parents
-
Good parenting is not
influenced by sexual orientation.
-
The sexual orientation of
parents does not influence the sexual
orientation of a child
-
Children of gay parents
are not at increased risk of developing
depression or self-esteem issues.
Because of the ongoing
controversy surrounding gay parenting, gays
and lesbians and their children are
sometimes the victims of harassment and
discrimination. Many gay parents choose to
raise their families in gay friendly
communities and surround themselves with
loving, supportive friends and extended
families.
SINGLE PARENTING
Nearly 28 percent of
children in the United States under the age
of 18 live with only one parent. Over 85
percent of these children live with their
mothers. There are many reasons why a
household may have only one parent. Some
women choose to become pregnant and raise a
child without the help of a partner or
spouse. Divorce and the death of a spouse
can also result in single parenting.
Regardless of the reason,
single parenting can be a challenging,
sometimes overwhelming task that can be full
of surprises and long-term rewards.
Common challenges of
single parenting include:
However, there are
effective ways to combat the additional
difficulties of single parenting such as:
-
Continuing contact with
absent parent (in the case of divorce or
separation)
-
Minimizing moves or
relocations (children thrive in a
consistent environment)
-
Maintaining good
relationships with extended family
members such as grandparents, aunts, and
uncles
-
Reducing stress and
conflict whenever possible
There are many good
organizations that provide support and
guidance for single parents. Some churches
and community centers offer regular meetings
and get-togethers for parents to meet.
